~One day a blonde walks into an apliance store. Pointing at a microwave, she says to the clerk that she would like to buy it. The clerk says, "I'm sorry, miss, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde gets very angry, since she really needs a microwave. So the next day she comes into the store with a brown wig on. Again she tells the clerk she would like to buy the microwave she is pointing at. But the clerk says, "I'm sorry, miss, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde is enraged and asks the clerk how he knew she was blonde. But the clerk frocefully escorts her out of the store, looking around nervously, as the blonde is somewhat screaming. So finally the next day the blonde dyes her hair brown and walks into the store, again asking to buy the microwave. The clerk, once again, explains that the store does not sell to blondes. Furious, she asks the clerk why. The clerk replies calmy, "Ma'am, that microwave you're pointing at is one of the most expensive TVs in the world. It sells for about 360,000.00."

~Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me"

~There was this blonde and this brunette sitting on a roof.. the blonde jumped off.. and the brunette asked her why.. and the blonde said "becuase i was testing out my new maxi pads with wings"

~There was  a blonde , a  brunette and a red head on an island and there are these ppl trying to kill them.. they pointed the gun at the brunette and said.. do you have any last words? and she said yea.. TORNADO.. so they looked and she ran. then they pointed the gun at the red head and said.. do you have any last words? and she said yea... TWISTER.. so they looked and she ran. then they pointed the gun at the blonde and they said.. do you have any last words? and she said yea.. FIRE.. so they shot her.

~A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

~There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office. Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too. The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left. The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again. "No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught"

~There's a blond and she's board, so she goes to the supermarket and buys a puzzle.  She gets home, tips all the pieces out of the box, and proceeds to try to put it together.  She works for three hours, and doesn't accomplish anything.  She is very upset and distressed, and calls her boyfriend at work.  "I bought this stupid puzzle at this stupid shopping market and its so hard and I've been working on it for hours and I can't do it and I can't even find one single edge piece"  At this point, she bursts into tears.  Her boyfriend's like, "Wow she must be really distressed, I better go and make sure she's okay."  "Ok," he says to her over the phone.  "Just tell me, before I come, what is the picture on the box?"  "Its just a stupid big chicken," she says. He gets home, opens the door, looks across the room and says, "OKAY, PUT THE CORNFLAKES BACK IN THE PACKET"

~there is this blonde, brunette and a red-head speedin down a highway. all of a sudden the cop starts chasin em. they stop on the side of the highway to hide in a ruggidy old house and when they get inside they see 3 potatoe bags and each get in one. the cop comes in and kicks the bag with the red-head in it. she says "MEOW-MEOW" and then the cop says "oh, its just a bag of kitties" the cop kicks the next bag and the brunette replies "BARK-BARK" and the cops says "wow, its just a sack of puppies" and then the cop kicks the bag with the blonde in it and she screams "POTATOES-POTATOES....."

~there was a brunette runnin down the side of the highway sayin "67 67 67 67" the blonde comes up startss joggin and asks "why are you sayin 67 67 67 67?" the brunette didnt relpy so the blonde starts joggin and sayin "67 67 67 67" the brunette stops and say to the blonde "its much funner if you run out in the MIDDLE of the highway" so ofcourse the blonde goes out, starts joggin and says "67 67 67 sixty....." and then all of a sudden then blonde gets hit head on by a semi. the brunette stops, looks and starts joggin sayin "68 68 68 68"

~the blonde and the brunette and speedin down the highway and the cop turns on his sirens, and the brunette says "is that cop chasin us?" the blonde says "sure is" and brunette says "are his lights on?" the blonde replies "yes-no-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no..."

~A blonde and a brunette were in an elevator. As it stopped on one floor, an extremely hot guy walked in. He had on a designer suit, great shoes, great eyes, etc. The only problem was that he had horrible dandruff. Both girls are practically drooling before he gets out on the next floor. As the doors close behind him, the blonde says to the brunette, "Oh my God Did you see that guy? He is totally hot" The brunette replies, "Oh I know But what is up with that dandruff? Someone should really give him some Head and Shoulders." The blonde thinks about what she said for a minute and then replies, "How do you give shoulders?"

~A woman wanted the interior of her house repainted. She hired a contractor and took him on a tour through the house. She walked into the first room and told the man she wanted this room painted white. The man wrote something down on his clipboard, went over to the window, and shouted outside, "Green side up" The woman was confused, but continued with the tour. In the next room, the woman said that she would like this one painted a rose color. Again, the man wrote something down on his clipboard and shouted out the window, "Green side up" The woman was very curious why he was doing this, but was hesitant to say anything. She went into the next room and told the man that she wanted this room to be painted a pale blue. Again, he wrote something down on his clipboard and shouted out the window, "Green side up" The woman finally asked, "Why is it that every time I tell you what color I was the room painted, you shout out the window, 'Green side up'?" The man replied, "I have a crew of blondes planted sod across the street."

~There was a blonde whos mom just died that morning, she got to work and her boss came in,"if there's anything you need just holla" She said" Alright" So after an hour, he comes walking down the hallway to see if she's all right, he hears her crying louder than that morning. So her boss asked whats wrong and the blondes replie was," my sister just called, her mom just died to" and started to cry really hard